since this is a sex & theology blog…

my dear friend wrote a paper for a class she took, about God’s sexuality, and homosexuality.  I found it to be an EXCELLENT paper, and she posted it on her blog.  here’s the link if you’re interested (ps if you go there, please use the thumper rule for comments – if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all )

uh-oh, this one’s about sex…




This week I have noticible cervical fluid.  For those of you who have ever tried to concieve a child (or naturally avoid concieving a child), you know what I’m talking about – the ‘goop’ that comes from lady bits and changes texture & consistency from curdled milk to egg whites.  {{gross}}

Well, even a student of sex therapy can struggle with how to woo their partner into the sack, because The Husband has just not been in the mood this week – the week I’ve been waiting for months for.  The first time in what feels like forever that we’ve been allowed to have unprotected sex during a fertile period (Dr ordered) and I, quite like many other ladies out there, an the most horny during my fertile window – not to mention how much better our sex is with the natural ‘goop’ of CM!  Needless to say, I’ve been a bit disappointed in this week’s sexcapades – rather, lack thereof 😦

ps – thanks for hanging around when i’ve been too crazy busy to be a regular writer these past few weeks!

the kinsey scale

Alfred Kinsey developed a scale – known as the Kinsey Scale – of sexuality.  He determined that all people fall on a scale of bisexuality.  Ranging from a 0 (which is highly unlikely) to a 6, Kinsey believed that all human beings had a level of attractedness to members of the same sex. 

The scale is as follows:

Rating Description
0 Exclusively heterosexual
1 Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual
2 Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual
3 Equally heterosexual and homosexual; bisexual.
4 Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual
5 Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual
6 Exclusively homosexual
X Asexual, Non-Sexual

Many people, particularly those who self-identify as heterosexual (and are likely married) get uncomfortable with this idea.  I, however, ascribe to it 100%.  I can claim and own the multiple ways I am attracted to women and not feel like there’s something strange about my preference.  For example, I am highly attracted to my BFF, but in an emotional way I do not necessarily connect with others.  When I have been away from her for a few days, I begin to daydream about the great conversations we’ll have and flirt with the idea of being allowed a longer than typical amount of time with her all to myself, to chat and daydream and just genuinely love each other.  While my relationship with my BFF doesn’t wander into the traditionally sexual, the Kinsey scale confirms, for me, what I may not have been willing to acknowledge without it – that I am truly attracted to her.  This is a basic example of someone who may claim to be a 1 on the scale, but I’m not a 1…. 

While I am in a heterosexual union, I regularly find myself sexually attracted to women.  The Husband is really understanding of this, and while I have not acted on any of these attractions (since being married), I am humbled by the honesty my marriage can withstand.  I attribute this to multiple factors, but a grasp of the Kinsey Scale and it’s relevance is key for us as partners. 

This intro to the Kinsey Scale is also a little backdrop to a post I’ve been working on about marriage.  I urge you to consider this scale and see how it may change how you appreciate your self and others.  Have you had an experience that would put you within the spectrum of homo-hetero attraction?  do you feel yourself a solid 0 heterosexual? why or why not?

i embarass people

last friday i had a surgical procedure (non-elective) done in my uterus. i was told i could not have sex for a week, or until i stopped bleeding. this morning the nurse called to check in on me, and i said, “i’m doing great! i’m not bleeding! i’m eatting and drinking like normal! can i please have sex now?”
you wouldn’t believe me if i told you how long this longest phone pause was. just trust me when i say it was L O N G. i think someone may be in a dry spell, because after the long pause, she said, “no. have a good day.” and hung up! i embarassed/startled her so much with my sex drive that our whole follow-up call consisted of these very 5 sentences! guess i should try and remember that not everyone is as interested in sex as i am 😉 opps!


tomorrow, i am going to get my very first bikini wax.  yup – i’m being completely serious.  i got married so young, i didn’t even realize this was something that could be done until it hardly mattered.  however, recently i’ve been intreguied with what a difference it may make.  i typically shave, when necessary – and a few times i’ve shaved it all, but the growback is virtually intolerable, and The Husband doesn’t like the feel of the 3-day-stubble (go figure!), with The Husband being out of town for another few days, i thought now might be a good time to try.

the salon at which i made the appointment has 3 kinds of waxing styles (read 3 different price points): bikini, slimline bikini, and brazilian.  truth be told, i’d totally go for the brazilian if it wasn’t my first time, so i chose the slimline – which i’m assuming is similar to a french wax (go to wikipedia and search bikini wax for definitions).  do you wax? have you? while i would like to say this is for The Husband (and it is), i also must admit the thought of being tidy and clean down there without the painful shavers-regrowth may be a game changer for me, too.  i’ll try and report back 😉


okay, not really.  i mean well, yes – there were parts when i wanted to say ouch, but they were few and far between, and lasted a second at most and the result is so lovely and wonderful i’m debating taking a picture and MMSing it to The Husband since he’s still out of town…..

cheers to a new – now necessary – regular expense! lol

the F word

Opinions abound with regards to appropriate usage of the word fuck.  As parents of a mimicky wee-one, The Husband and I have to watch our casual profane use of it these days, and I’ve personally never been fond of using it in the bedroom (unless I’m completely wasted – in those cases, The Husband says I use it a lot.  This I can’t confirm or deny.)  But last night, I learned a new variation of the F word.  My best friend sent me a text about something crazy her husband suggested, finishing with the most lovely phrase “fuckscuse me?!”

I literally died of hysterical laughter all alone in my apartment (The Husband is out of town).  In my opinion, that is the single most fabulous usage of the F word ever EVER!  And now that it’s morning and I’ve stopped laughing – well, almost – I am thinking of other ways to use this new word.  I already used it this morning in a comment on, and I’m coming up with ways to use it around the home, too.  For example, when our regularly uninvited guest shows up every month to wreak havoc on my uterus, she becomes a fuckscuse to not have sex.  Also, when your new vampire baby desides to use your nipples as chewtoys, you have an excellent fuckscuse to tell your partner to keep his mitts off your tits for a while.  I think it’s used wonderfully as a personal cockblock – when you don’t want to do it, come up with a worthy fuckscuse!

Regularity Variations

(since this origional post, posted a blog titled “i am a sex camel.”  Don’t you LOVE that description?!)

how often do you have sex?  because of a medical condition and other reasons, The Husband and I FAM chart, so I have an easy ability to go back and look at how much sex we have in any given month.  This past month, we had a few celebrations, and there was a 13 day streak of minimum 1xdaily sex, but for the last week and a half – nothing. 

What’s regular for you? Do you think that your regular is “you’re society’s” regular?  For me, I’ve been a wife for 8 years and have a child, but I’m studying to be a sex therapist, so my regular feels abnormal for my societal place.  Discuss, please – I’m interested in what you have to say! 😉